Kimi o ai shiteru
by Pati101
Summary: AU We weren’t friends. In fact, we hated each others, at least that how we acted. Then when everything finally was fine i lost him. the next time we meet he said something the bronke my heart 'Who are you'
1. Kimi o ai shiteru

Disclaimer: I don't own Cardcaptors

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Card captors.

**Summary:** AU We weren't friends. In fact, we hated each others, at least that how we acted. An incident made us confess. But you know the saying, 'Life is a bitch'. And it is. The next time I saw him, I was not the girl he love. No, I wasn't even a friend, an ally, an enemy. I wasn't anything to him, just a stranger. When I saw him, he looked at me, confusion in his eyes and he asked me something that broke my heart, 'who are you?'

**Shoushin**

'_You don't die of a broken heart, you just wish you did.'_

**Ch. 1: Kimi O Ai Shiteru**

I was scare. No, that would be wrong. Frighten would be a more fitting word. My whole body was shaking uncontrollable. I could barely dial the right number. All my thoughts were focus on _him_.

The phone kept ringing. With every ring, my mind created a different story. All with the same result. _His _demolish. The voice mail answered. I start screaming for someone to answer the phone. Begging him to pick the phone and tell me everything was fine, that _he_ was fine. And it finally did.

"Hey! Are you ok? Are you hurt? Don't worry I send someone to hel-" _He_ interrupt me with a weak "Sakura" I patiently waited for _him_ to continue. "Y-you k-know I re-really care f-for you, r-right? You k-know I n-never meant a-all the t-thing I s-said to you. T-that I l-love you." I was mad. No, no mad, I was furious! I have always dream of _him_ saying this. Every single night. But life was cruel. Why now? "I love you too! I always did. Since I met you. I am s-" "Good" Then I heard a noise. The worse I have ever heard. Even know I still remember it. His house had just fallen, him in side.

I still remember me screaming his name. Hoping, praying, begging this was just a nightmare and nothing more. Tell him to stop, that this wasn't funny.

I called Eriol and ordered him to send people to his apartment. They kept looking for him. half an hour later he called me back. "Sakura, we found him." He barely whispered. "What's wrong? Eriol, don't tell me is too late. Don't tell me he's dead." He couldn't. He has always been so strong. He would not die so easily.

"Sakura, he's in critical condition. There are no many chances he will make it." I was about to tell him that he was wrong. About to scream at him for doubting him, his closest friend, but he interrupted me. "I was the one that found him."

"Eriol, what-" "He was smiling. I have never seen him so happy in my life." I heard him said in a shaking voice. Tears start to roll in my cheeks. "He was still conscious; he looked at me and asked me to take care of you. Sakura if h-" I knew what he was about to say, and I would not let him. "He will be fine. He will." I said before I hang up. He had to. I don't know what I would do without him. He was so important to me. He was my life line.

Another half an hour later, Tomoyo called me. She said to come to the hospital. I did. Now I regret it so much.

"He is alive. He just woke up." She told me. My heart was so happy. But it didn't last long, my already broken heart completely shatter with her next words. "But… he has amnesia. He has forgotten everything that happened in this year." She told me softly, trying to

Comfort me. "Even you," Eriol said sadly and giving me a sympathetic look but I couldn't careless.

One whole year. That's how long I have known him. Those are my most precious years. And he forgot it. Every fight, every smile, every conversation, every memory, everything, he forgot it all. He forgot me.

I rush to his room. He was awake. He first looked at Eriol. He greeted him like always. They had been friends since little and it look as if nothing had change. After that he turns to look at Tomoyo. Been Eriol's fiancée, he had met her six years ago. He gave her a small smile. Then he focused those amber orbs that made me fall in love with him on me.

He wanted to say something. I could tell. And I wondered what he would say. Would he get up and hug me? Or would he smile, the way he only smiled at me? Anything. Anything would do. Anything would haven better. What he said made me want to completely die. He smiled at me as if nothing was wrong. He looked at me, confusion in his eyes and he asked me something that broke my heart, 'who are you?' He wasn't lying. He wasn't pretending, faking. He looked at me like a stranger. He truly had forgotten me.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. But I couldn't. I felt numb. Numb and cold. I couldn't feel anything. Nothing but a sharp agony in my heart.

I think I pass out. Everything went black and I heard them screaming my name. But it didn't matter. I had lost everything, and he was the only thing left. My only hope. And now it was gone. Everything that took us so much time to build, a year, was erased in nothing but one hour.

How did this happen? Why? Everything was finally going right. How did this start? I think it was a Monday. I was indifferent, not knowing that that day would change my life. That it would start everything…

**A/N: **what so you guys think? Should I continue it?


	2. Anata

Disclaimer: I don't own Cardcaptors

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Card captors.

**Summary:** AU We weren't friends. In fact, we hated each others, at least that how we acted. An incident made us confess. But you know the saying, 'Life is a bitch'. And it is. The next time I saw him, I was not the girl he love. No, I wasn't even a friend, an ally, an enemy. I wasn't anything to him, just a stranger. When I saw him, he looked at me, confusion in his eyes and he asked me something that broke my heart, 'who are you?'

**Shoushin**

"_As a little girl, I always knew that when I grew up I would look back at the times I cried and laugh, but I never knew I would look back at the times I laughed and cry__"_

**Ch. 2 Anata**

"I'll watch over you." were the last words my mother said to me. She died when I was four. She had a terrible disease. I still remember the look on her face as is she was apologizing. It was new, so the doctors didn't know how to save her.

"Everything is going to be fine." Was what my father last said. His eyes were full of regret. Four years later he follow mom. During one of his lecture something happen that made the whole edifice come down. The doctors couldn't do anything to save him. Apparently a pipe that went through him destroyed his vital organs.

"Take care, Sakura." is what Touya had just said to me. He never called me by my name, it was always kaijuu. But since this was the last time we were going to talk, he made an exception. I could tell he was giving me his farewell and asking for forgiveness. A drunk driver was about to hit me and as my over protective brother, he took my place. He went to join our parents. When the doctors came it was too late, he had already died. No wonder why I hate doctors.

Touya Kinomoto, my big brother, was a CEO. Fujitaka Kinomoto, my father was a famous archeologist and my mother, Nadeshiko Kinomoto, a well known model. As the only one left I have inherited a lot of money and part of the Wolf Blossoms Company. My father once said it was name after me and his partner's only son.

"Miss Kinomoto, I hope you understand that this will just be for a while." My lawyer said.

As of now I will have to live in the Li's residence. Since I am the other heir I must work as a CEO. And because the company is in Hong Kong, I will have to live with them. Only for a year. I have to sell everything I have here, in Japan.

"You're late Mr. Li" My lawyer said. Apparently, while I was spacing out he came. The first thing that got my attention was his eyes. Sure he was hot. I'll give him that. But nothing special. Instead his eyes, they pull me in. Daring me to look away. Amber. They were amber.

They show such a strong will, the eyes of some one who is used to get his way, someone who will not be broken regardless of what's thrown his way. They held mine hostage. They were everything I wanted to be so long ago.

He looked at me and gave me a devilish smile. "You must be Miss Kinomoto." I nod, my eyes never leaving his.

"Mr. Li, Miss Kinomoto, as of tomorrow, you two will be Wolf Blossoms CEO's. Every decision must be made by you two." He said as he gave us the papers to sign. Mr. Li sign with out caring. I don't know why but it felt as if he was going to completely change my life. And that made me hate him. I didn't wish for any more changes. Every time, they have caused me much pain and grief.

By the way my name is Sakura Kinomoto, only heir of the great Kinomoto household, am twenty years old, I have auburn-honey hair that I gotten from my father, it is shoulder length, emerald green eyes from my mother. Oh and I have just met the person that will make my life a living rollercoaster, the other heir, the one and only… Syaoran Li.

**A/N:** I know this chapter is boring but it's important since is introducing everything.


	3. tomodachi

Disclaimer: I don't own Cardcaptors

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Card captors.

**Summary:** AU We weren't friends. In fact, we hated each others, at least that how we acted. An incident made us confess. But you know the saying, 'Life is a bitch'. And it is. The next time I saw him, I was not the girl he love. No, I wasn't even a friend, an ally, an enemy. I wasn't anything to him, just a stranger. When I saw him, he looked at me, confusion in his eyes and he asked me something that broke my heart, 'who are you?'

**Shoushin**

"_I'm perfectly fine with been his friend…in fact I love it, is just this incredible urge to kiss him that wont go away…and the feeling that we would be perfect together."_

**Ch.4 Tomodachi**

It's been three months since the incident in the company. Somehow I have gotten close to Syaoran. He still annoys me, but am used to it. I can actually say that we could be conceder friends.

"Sakura-chan, could you do me a favor?" Tomoyo, a girl I recently met, ask me. I guess I space out longer than I thought. I give her a confuse look. She just laughs "I asked if you could help me out and drop off the packet at your left."

"Yea "I said looking outside. The weather was fine and it wasn't to dark, I could manage. She nod and went to her office. She is really sweet and caring. Apparently, we are far away cousins. As I walk home I see the small park I always go to in my weekends and I can't resist going.

"Mommy!" I hear a child scream. There, in front of me I see a family of four. Slowly I see the blonde woman turn to someone with grayish hair and green eyes. The man to someone with brown hair and blackish eyes transforms. The boy then has brown eyes with black hair. And the child, she has emerald eyes and auburn-honey hair.

I feel a knot in my throat. They look so happy, their eyes shine with joy and it forces me to remember something I had buried long ago. I remember Touya chasing me and I playfully scream for mom. She just laughs as my father gives us a gentle smile.

Then I see my mother in bed looking so pale, so lifeless. I start to cry when I hear her say "I'll watch over you." They picture changes to my father in the hospital. There broken and telling me "Everything is going to be fine." and me sobbing. Suddenly my brother is in the ambulance. Slipping away with me letting my tears fall as I hear him whisper "Take care, Sakura." My breath hitches as I see their death. One by one leaving me alone. Unconsciously I bow my head down.

"Sakura? Funny meeting you here." Syaoran says. Am brought to reality. I can't hear what he says. I know he is with his new flavor of the week. When I feel he is very close to me I lift up my head. His eyes go wide and I notice my tears. I quickly wipe them off, get up and walk away.

"Sorry." I hear him say to his fling as he goes after me. And I start to run. I should not, could not cry in front of people, especially him. I crush in to some one and I mumble an apology.

"Hey, pretty lady. It isn't nice to crash in to people." Some guy says as he grabs my arm. "You could hurt someone."

I ignore him and force myself out of his grip and continue running away. And thanks to my luck, it starts to rain. I have no idea how much I run nor why. True, it would hurt my pride but was it really necessary to run away?

He had already seen me in tears, so why did I walk away like I did? Then it hit me, I was ashamed of that. Of showing weakness to him of all people. Since when did his opinion matter so much? Because I was space out I hit a rock. I fell down right into the mud. I felt pain my left leg. It had been twisted.

I felt more tears rolling down. why was I crying anyways? I have gotten over their deaths. I have move on. Isn't that the reason as to why am I here? I have never cry in front of someone besides my family. Even if it did brought painful memories, am away from it now. I tell my self as I force my self to stop to cry.

I touch my left leg; it hurts but no enough to cry. Then I picture Syaoran laughing at me and it hurts. It hurts more than my left leg, and more than my right hand did when it was shot. Is such an agony I feel in my heart. I don't understand it, but I know it will bring no good. So I try to think of something else. Something like his flings. He always has someone new. And I imagine his telling them sweet nothing in their ears. How he kiss he and their annoying giggles. And my heart hurts even more. It brings tears to my eyes. Especially when he is smiling to them.

I feel a hand in my shoulder. "Sakura, why did you run?" Syaoran asks worry. I hate the look he is giving me. The look he gives his sister when they worry him. And I don't know what hurts the most. That he reminds me of Touya or that he thinks am but a little sister. Who knows but it makes me cry even more.

I want to keep on running. If I run he won't bring in memories of Touya. Like when I fell on my nose and he panic because I was bleeding. Or when he was worry because a came late from my friend's party. If I run he won't make me think that Touya is here and in a second the worry look will go away and he will call me kaiju and I will stomp on his foot.

Nor will he make me feel like nothing more but a little sister. Someone he just worries because he has to. Someone who he thinks needs someone to relay on. But I can't run. My leg is twisted and he won't let go. "I just feel like it." I answer, still no showing him my face.

I guess he didn't like it since he lifts up my head. When he saw I was still crying he hugs me. Gently assures me that what ever it is it will be find. Then he mentions his flings saying he could call any of them if I wanted someone to talk to, that they will listen to whatever I have to say. And it makes me cry even more.

Idiot, I don't want to talk to you girlfriends. What good are they to me? They are just airhead giggling girls. I just want this pain to go away. That's it. I don't want you to hug me either. And the only reason I don't push you away, like I should, is because am comfortable. But as soon as I can stop crying and I get my head straight, we will go back to what we are. Friends. Nothing more, just some one I know and pass a certain amount of time with.

But the thought seem to be harmful. And I can't help but think this is right. That I fit so well in your arms. And that it seems like this is how it should be. That this is what perfection looks like. And that if this stays forever I wouldn't really mind.

Syaoran, please tell me why am I thinking of this when I should be pushing you away? Why did this even happen? I suppose to be a young proud woman who only depends on her self and no one else, so why am I in the mud, crying in your arms, looking for a shoulder to lean on?


	4. Arigato

Disclaimer: I don't own Cardcaptors

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Card captors.

**Summary:** AU We weren't friends. In fact, we hated each others, at least that how we acted. An incident made us confess. But you know the saying, 'Life is a bitch'. And it is. The next time I saw him, I was not the girl he love. No, I wasn't even a friend, an ally, an enemy. I wasn't anything to him, just a stranger. When I saw him, he looked at me, confusion in his eyes and he asked me something that broke my heart, 'who are you?'

**Shoushin**

"_She's my friend, break her heart and I'll break you face."_

**Ch.5 ****Arigato**

It has been raining since the fateful day. Now three months later, I still feel embarrass. I still regret what happen but to my surprise he never teases about that. He didn't mention it, even when we were fighting. He understood that it wasn't something to play with. He knew I could talk about it and that it would hurt me more that anything.

That night he once more brought me home. He didn't ask for an explanation or a reason as to why I did what I did. The only thing he asked was if I was ok. I can't believe how much we have improved since then. We still fight but we have learned how to compromise. If I want black and he wants white, we choose grey. And it is some thing we can't have the middle, one of us steps down. Once he and the next time me.

"Sakura, do you want to go out? For lunch." Ray asks. Ray has blond hair and blue eyes. A typical American, he is nothing special. He has been very polite, but I just can't help but doubt his intentions. Still I don't think that I should turn him down because of a simple feeling. I have learned from experiences. "Of course." I tell him grabbing my stuff.

He takes me to some fancy restaurant. One of those whose name's length is just a long as the zeros in the price. Those whose food is made so that it makes you want to eat it and then regret it. "So, do you like it?" he ask in such a proud form I want to say I have been to better, but I just smile. I can't be rude.

"You know, you look great, I have never seen such a hot woman like you." Am sure he keeps on talking but I rather ignore it. Hot means nothing to me. It just means that they look at my body. Just like when they call me pretty. That's my face, what they have been checking out.

But then again it is no surprise. That's what men look for. A hot body and pretty face. And if they have money even better. I am use to, I do live with Syaoran. And speaking of the devil, look who is here. He just looks at me surprise and then smiles. "Mr. Li." He says greeting his boss with formality. However Syaoran just ignores hi. "Sakura, remember Mother wants to see _us_ tomorrow at the _wedding plans_. After all _you_ are the one that will choose the dress."

I heard Ray gasps and Syaoran just smirk. I just shook my head. "Yeah, I still don't understand why your **sister** insists on me choosing the dress for** her** wedding." He just pouts when I don't play along. And I swear he looks like the most adorable person in the world. Ray relaxes. "Well bye, I don't want to keep my date waiting." He says as he excuses himself with a smile that makes it hard to breathe to go towards a red hair woman.

"Is he always that arrogant?" he asks me and I have to suppress my urge to shove my fist in his face. I don't think it would be a great idea, especially when I don't have a logical answer as to why I did what I did. Who does he thinks he is. Syaoran is not just some asshole; he is also a great friend. He is nothing compare to Syaoran. He is the reason as to why is the company so successful and why has it always being rank number one.

"Anyways, like I was saying, I finish-" And I just rolled my eyes. I really regret going out with Mr. I-me-and-myself. Really, doesn't he know that not only am I Syaoran friends but that am also his boss? I should have turn down his invitation and just eat at the office with Tomoyo and Eriol. He is Tomoyo's fiancé, they will marry soon. She says I'll be the maid of honor and that Syaoran the best man.

Fortunately this 'date' was over. But the idiot can't let go. And Ray decided that we should stop at the park. 'After all it is such a lovely day' – his words. Sure the day is beautiful but not with him.

"Sakura, my apartment is close." He told me with such a look and a smile that I just could help but slap him as hard as I could. I am not some piece of meat! You can't just take me out and buy me a crappy meal so later we could sleep together. Am no like that.

"Just who do you think I am! Someone to sleep with?!" I can't believe this bastard would think something so low of me. I was so ready to hit him again but he stops my hand. "Isn't that what you do with Syaoran? I bet that's the reason why he lets you have so many privileges."

I stayed in shock. Syaoran has never even close to look at me in the way. As painful as it is, am only someone he sees as his little sister. Someone he feels like protecting. I have no idea how it happen but I pinned to some wall. I tried to kick and hit him but I wasn't able to. Why must I always be this weak when I need to be strong the most?

I couldn't always depend on someone. It makes sick to have him shoving himself onto me. "Do you know how much the food cost? You better be good. Don't act like you don't know about this, everyone in the office knows how you are."

So that's what they really think of me? Is that their reason as to why am I the second boss? I can't believe it! I feel him touching me. And it makes me so disgusted of myself for not been able to do anything. I don't feel my body anymore. It's like it went numb. And all I can do is try to scream for help. And I find my self scream for one person alone. All I hear coming out of my mouth is his name. 'Syaoran.'

I have never called him by his name. I don't think is proper since we barely know anything about each other. But that's how it comes out. In betweens sobs I scream for him. I want his help. I want to relay on him, just like before.

I feel the weight off me. I fall down to my knees. I see him helping me. Once more. Am I really this pathetic? How come before I met him I didn't needed of anyone? If this had happen before I met him I wouldn't have waited for someone to help me. Long before Touya came to help me I would have the man I the ground with at least some broken bones.

Back then I wouldn't have been able to play hostage because he would have hit the floor before the gun was aim at me. I wouldn't have to need someone to bargain for my life. Neither would I be crying for things in the past. I just look at it, be sad and move on with it. How has he been making me weak?

He went to where I was and once more embraces me. I hear his world towards the bastard. "Am sure you will never do as much as to breathe on her, because if you do I'll personality kill you! She isn't some one you can touch just because you feel like it. She is a respectable and prideful woman."

Wrong. What kind of respectful and prideful woman is this weak? A woman like that wouldn't even get in these messes and if she did, she would easily get out of it. They weren't be needing of your help like I am. I'm starting to hate myself just as much as I have said I hated you. Ironic don't you think?

Even so, after all myself loathing, I still manage to say a small "Thank you" to him. And his smile makes me stop my rant in my mind. You are screwing me up Syaoran.


	5. shitto

Disclaimer: I don't own Cardcaptors

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Card captors.

**Summary:** AU We weren't friends. In fact, we hated each others, at least that how we acted. An incident made us confess. But you know the saying, 'Life is a bitch'. And it is. The next time I saw him, I was not the girl he love. No, I wasn't even a friend, an ally, an enemy. I wasn't anything to him, just a stranger. When I saw him, he looked at me, confusion in his eyes and he asked me something that broke my heart, 'who are you?'

**Shoushin**

"_We were like Romeo and Juliet… that is, before she came to the picture. "_

**Ch.6 ****Shitto**

"Sakura? I know you have been very space out, but could you pay attention to the meeting." Syaoran told me. I just gave a smile and nod. Tomoyo send a worry glance my way and then look at the woman in front of him. And I nodded my head again giving her a small smile. She seems to read me so well.

"Syaoran, I think Sakura can sit this one out. She looks tire." Eriol said. "Eriol is right, she should be able to let this one pass. Besides it isn't that important." Tomoyo said. They saw right through me. I know because regardless of the excuse, their eyes told me they knew. They told me that I wasn't fooling them. They were so perfect for each other, they are so alike.

"Sakura?" he asks me. "Am fine." I know how important this is for him. And I have come to terms with my feelings not long ago. But just as I did you did too. The thing is it wasn't me, but the woman in front of you. "I will stay." I know that what you want so I'll do it. Even if it hurts me and even if Eriol keeps on shaking his head and Tomoyo looks at me worry. It brings out one of your smiles I'll do anything.

"Good. Well like I was saying I think our wedding will be in two months." He says smiling at her. I just stare blinking away tears that are forming in my eyes. Then he turns to me. Looking for an approval, for _**my **_approval. His mother and sisters disagree completely. I think am at fault for having feelings towards him. Even Wei said that it may not be the best choose. And I know am a little sister to him, so I do what I would have done if this was Touya. I get up and hug him and telling "Congratulations, I hope you to have a nice wedding."

And even with the tears and pain, I truly mean it. I truly wish his happiness. "Of course." He says and I feel the smirk forming in his face. He is glad he has someone's approval. Then he lets go. "Sakura you will be the maid of honor." Tomoyo gasps and then looks at me ready to get me out of the office. Eriol lets every paper in his hand fall. They are his friends but mine too.

"I don't think it should be me." I try to get out of this. I honestly doubt I'll pull that off. And I don't want to ruin his wedding. "Why? You'll be perfect." He says completely believing it. He can be naïve at times, can't him? And he looks so cute when he is confused. "Lets talk about this later." I tell him as I grab my thing to go. "Sakura someone wants to talk to you, they are waiting in your office." My secretary says.

"Sakura-sama, it is very sweet of you, but you should consider yourself." Wei says. I guess Eriol was too worried and call his family. "Wei is right. Sakura, you don't have to do this." Yelan says looking at me like my mother used to and that's all it takes. I hug her and I let my tears fall.

When I get home Syaoran is there. "Sakura, when do you think you could try out the dress? Oh and the place hasn't been decide yet. I-" I just zoom everything. I can't really take this. You are putting too much on me. I really want to help you and make you happy. But if this continues I don't thing I'll last.

I can't play doll and be perfect anymore. It was your fault to begin with. You are the one that changed me. I was fine with out feeling anything! I see you looking at me. And then I notice I said that last part out loud. I see pain in you eyes and I truly regret it. "I-" but you don't let me explain.

"You what? You think am asking you to be perfect? For crying out loud! Sakura I thought you knew me by now. Am not someone like that! You are just so spoil! Don't you think I understand?! Every fucking time I help you out I never force you to tell me what happen. And even now you still don't trust me enough!"

I'll take whatever you are dishing out me. If I didn't trust you, do you really think I'll let you see me cry? You are the only person I truly trust. You are the only person I lean on. And yet you still don't notice it. You only think bad of me don't you? Isn't that just so sad and pathetic, Syaoran?

I flinch with every scream, with every insult. Am fine if everyone thinks low of me, everyone but you. But you don't know, nor do you care. You are mad at me and that's all it matters. Funny how this fight was cause by something as insignificant as a whine. Maybe you are already tire of me. Tire of helping me and taking care of me.

"You know, I regret ever meeting you!" I see your eyes. You didn't mean to say it but you were truly meaning. You really regret meeting me. Ironically, when we had our first fight you said that same thing to me. But back then I just smile and didn't care. And now, it doesn't make me smile. It makes me cry.

"Really? Well am sorry. But I do appreciate everything you have done for me, so I'll give you your wedding gift early. You will never see me again!" I say as I run away, for good. He can keep the company. My gift as a 'thank you' for everything. I don't need it; I didn't in the first place. "Sakura!!" I hear you scream but it doesn't matter. I know that if I return, I'll get hurt more. And my heart can't take it.

I go to company, where I know Yelan is. I still have to say my goodbyes and I did left my cell phone.

When I get there, everyone was watching the news. I dismiss it till I see a familiar house. The Li residence. I felt such panic; something was wrong, very wrong. Why was his house surrounded by police? And why was it looking so fragile? I was just there a while ago. In fact, Syaoran is probably there at this moni-

"_-parently, something exploded in the Li mansion. But we are currently unable to get in. it might collapse any minute now. The pol-"_

I hear the news and somehow I end up in the floor. Everyone turns at me. Everyone wanting me to explain what's going on. Yelan and Wei look concern. Eriol and Tomoyo expect something bad by the way their eyes look at me. I get up shaking and grab my phone as soon as I can. Their eyes widen and fear is evident with my next words. Their eyes turn just like mine. With the same fear, pain and agony.

I gasp and in a shakily voice, so soft it sound foreign to my own ears I say, _"Syaoran was in."_


	6. Sayonara koi

Disclaimer: I don't own Card captors

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Card captors.

**Summary:** AU We weren't friends. In fact, we hated each others, at least that how we acted. An incident made us confess. But you know the saying, 'Life is a bitch'. And it is. The next time I saw him, I was not the girl he love. No, I wasn't even a friend, an ally, an enemy. I wasn't anything to him, just a stranger. When I saw him, he looked at me, confusion in his eyes and he asked me something that broke my heart, 'who are you?'

**Shoushin**

"_A broken heart is just like a mirror. Sometimes is better to leave it broken than to get hurt trying to fix it. "_

**Ch.7 Sayonara Koi**

And that's what happened. That's what made me so happy yet so sad at the same time. It has been a month since then. I refuse to work in the company and to live with the Li's. Syaoran, or should I say Mr. Li, recuperate and is now back with his life. Unfortunately the amnesia might be permanent. He will never remember me. The Syaoran I knew die that day. And I with him.

His plans of marring are still the same and in a few hours, Hikari will be Mrs. Li. On the other side, I got out of being the maid of honor like I wanted. How could a completely stranger play that role? Irony just loves me so much. I have gotten over the fact that it will never be. It's just that I can't forget him like he forgot me. Even here in this apartment that has nothing to do with him, reminds me of him.

Tomoyo and Eriol did marry. I was the maid of honor like planned. They look so content, and it made me happy for them. But I just couldn't help and think 'is that how we would had look? That happy?' Even now I wake up in cold sweat, reliving the day I lost him.

Tomoyo said that the doctor told her that if I tell him his last words and the things he did before the explosion, he might remember the past. But once I gather enough courage to tell him, I think back on the day and then I see how happy he is now with her, and I just can't ruin it. I think I would have preferred no to know he loved me back. The way, I could have told my self that he got what he wanted and that it was better this way.

Eriol told me that my family would have been proud. I know that he was trying to make things easier but it just reminds me that have nothing left. I know that they are my friends but soon they will make a family and they will be too busy to worry about me. And I understand, that is completely normal.

I have turn into the person I was before. The only difference is that this time my heart isn't broken, this time it's completely shatter. After the wedding I'll move back to Japan. As painful as it is, it will be worse to stay. I think I can move on if I move somewhere were it has no connection to him.

As soon as I get to the church they surround me. "You look beautiful." Yelan tells me, I know that they all think I shouldn't come. They are looking out for me. "Yea, even the bride will be jealous." As soon as the words come out of Tomoyo, she covers her mouth and apologizes.

"I understand. Thanks." And then the music calls the bride. I resist the urge to say 'Just who is jealous of who?' when I see her next to Syaoran. And as hard as it is I admit that they look perfect together. Maybe this is what it supposes to happen.

"-speak know or for ever hold your-" I feel everyone's eyes on me. But I just smile and blink away tears. He turns this way, to see his family, and I feel like speaking but then he smiles to his wife and I can't. I missed my chance. Too bad, now I have to suck it up.

Tomoyo puts her hand in my shoulder "Sakura, am sure you will be happy soon." I nod, trying to stop my self from shaking. 'Sakura, cry him a river, build a bridge and get over it!' After the wedding, everyone congratulates him, just like I did before. And it makes me hate the girl. I know is not her fault, but if it hadn't been for her, I wont be in this wedding. I could still talk to him and most important, he would still remember me.

"I admire you." Yelan says when she sees me far from the rest. "I wouldn't have been able to pull it off. I would have said something. Still I want you to know I'll always see you as one of my daughters."

I give her a smile, at least the closest to one. "That's true. If I had been you, I'll would have slap her and scream for everyone to hear just how much I love Eriol." Tomoyo said giving me a sweet smile.

The bride and Syaoran come. "Mother." He says as he hugs her. She congratulates him and his new bride just like the rest. Then he turns to me. Hikari leaves when one of her friends calls for her.

"Syaoran" He says, presenting himself like if I am a stranger. But then again, why does it surprise me? That's exactly what I am to him. I try no to look hurt and to think of what to say to him.

"I know." I say

"You look familiar." And I hope, even if I thought I had gotten over it, that maybe, just maybe, he will remember me. But he just got marry. Even so I still wish for him to remember me.

"You were in the hospital, weren't you?"

I nod slowly. Feeling like if someone stepped on what was left of the pieces of my heart. I step back from him and the rest. They look at me worry. Feel my tears trying to come out.

He gives me a smile, the same one he gave me after we met, "I remember."

_No, no you don't, _I think bitterly as I smile for him, for old time's sake.

_And you never will._

**A/N: **I might live it like that, add one more chapter or make a sequel.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own Card captors

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Card captors.

**Summary:** AU We weren't friends. In fact, we hated each others, at least that how we acted. An incident made us confess. But you know the saying, 'Life is a bitch'. And it is. The next time I saw him, I was not the girl he love. No, I wasn't even a friend, an ally, an enemy. I wasn't anything to him, just a stranger. When I saw him, he looked at me, confusion in his eyes and he asked me something that broke my heart, 'who are you?'

**Shoushin**

"_The past is history, the future is mystery, and this moment is a gift...that's why it's called present so enjoy it while you can."_

**Ch.8 ****Hajimemashite**

It's been three years since I have last seen him. Now I'm a very popular psychologist here in Japan. I help others to forget myself. Irony loves me. I usually help couples. I help people stop making mistakes like mines, even if that leaves me with just enough time to sleep a bit. But I know the true reason as to why I do this. I'm not some saint or some thing like that; I just don't want to go home. I just don't feel like going back to my empty apartment were I do nothing but think of the 'only ifs' in my life. There is nothing that can stop me from remembering but keeping myself busy. And this is one of those nights.

I notice my door open 'It must be Mei-"Miss Kinomoto." a quiet voice says and the papers in my hand hit the floor. I look up to see a young woman with beautiful blue eyes and blonde hair. In front of me is a woman I have only seen three times, making this the third.

"Mrs. Li," I hesitate, for the woman should never come to me. She shouldn't even know I exist, like him. "You remember me." She says with a smile. "Miss Kin-Sakura…" she waits for my approval, just like her husband once did. And just like that time, I give it.

"Sakura, I have a request." She looks so desperate. It makes me wonder what has happen. What could cause this?

"Sakura, please help me. You are the o-" She is interrupted by a soft "Mommy." Thanks to the shock, I hadn't notice that she was holding something, someone. In her arms, a child is resting. Messy chestnut hair and blazing amber eyes, he is just like him. "Mrs. Li, I w-" she raises a hand to stop me. "Hikari." She whispers.

"Hikari, what is going on?" There is something wrong; this just doesn't make any sense. "I love them, Sakura," _them_ I think. "And that's why I came here. The thing is, am dyeing. And am fine with that, am content with the life I had. But my child is barely one year old." She says looking at the boy sleeping in her arms.

"The accident harmed Syaoran too. He is not the same. Every so often I hear him begging for forgiveness, screaming for help and thanking someone with so much love. And every time I ask about it, he remembers nothing. So I ask myself what can I do?" her eyes go back to her son.

"Eriol and Tomoyo are great friends but they have a family of their own, just like Syaoran's sisters. I, myself, have no relatives. I have no one. So I try to come up with something, and that reminds me of a girl. The only person that approved our wedding. I remember a young woman with short auburn-honey hair and emerald orbs." She smiles at me. "I did some research. I remember the name of the only person Syaoran had ever name with some much emotion besides Tomoyo, Eriol and his family. 'Sakura Kinomoto'"

_.._

"Please." I could still hear in my mind her pleas. I couldn't do that. I had barely moved on. And yet I think about them and I can't help but smile. I shake my head, getting up. I shouldn't even be thinking about this. I think to myself as I deal up the number on the small note I'm holding.

"Hello?" I hear from the other side. I really can't do this. I can't and I won't. For crying out loud, this should have never happe-"Hello?" I take a breath.

"Meilin, I have a favor to ask…"

_.._

As I step in side I can feel the stares they are giving me. I can even hear some gasp. I bet they are thinking the same thing I'm thinking. I have officially lost it. I knock on the door to find them waiting for me. Yep, I'm a lost case.

"Sakura?" Tomoyo says, walking towards me very slow. She has change at all. Beautiful as ever. At least one of us is happy. "Good morning, Tomoyo" And before I can blink, she is hugging me. And no just her. Eriol and the others are hugging me and asking god knows how many questions.

Lovely, after this I'll need to se a psychologist myself.

_.._

I must really be pathetic, standing here, wearing all black and looking at her pale complex. I can hear her child crying and asking his father for an explanation. Why isn't his beloved mother coming back?

'Now or never, Sakura,' I tell myself. 'You can still go back. You were able to move on, he will too. Let things be, no harm done. You can't just turn around, go back home and live the pathetic life you have. Or do as she asked.'

'How am I kidding?' I fell myself move forward. _'What are you reading?' he whispers behind me. 'Reading, now go away' _I can still remember my response. _''And so the lion fell in love with the lamb,'' _he quotes the line perfectly. I catch my breath, trying to erase the memory. _'Stupid, right?' I ask in complete honesty. _I stop my self from laughing at my silliness, back when I truly believe love was nothing but a meaningless word. _'Well, Sakura, you never know what you'll do when you're in love.'_

'I really shouldn't have criticized Edward Cullen.' I think bitterly, looking at them, no so far from me. I take one more step towards them.

"Sakura Kinomoto." I preset myself. He looks at me with confusion once more. Something flashes by in his eyes and he made the connection. He probably remembers me from his wedding.

"Glad to meet you." He says sincerely, offering me a smile. It hurt more than I thought it would. I really try no to flinch. Instead I give him a small pained smile. The only thing I can offer. I look down to see his soon looking at me and smiling at me too.

_I may not be able to change my past, and he may never remember me, but…_

And I smile this time. I real smile and look at Syaoran once more. "I'm glad too."

…_no one ever said anything about the future._

**A/N: **That's the end. I hope you liked it. I really didn't feel like making Syaoran remember Sakura. One: It wouldn't go with the plot and two: it would only make things awkward. But even if they didn't have a past anymore, they could still make a future together.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: I really appreciate the reviews

**A/N: **I really appreciate the reviews. Am glad you liked it. When I was writing the story, I had plan it to end when Syaoran marry. But I like the couple too much, and therefore, I decide to continue it. The thing is, usually that would mean Hikari would be an evil bitch and Syaoran would remember Sakura. It would be like most stories. Then I thought, something could happen to Hikari, and that's how the idea came to be. Most of you are wondering how and why Hikari die. I didn't put in the explanation because one: I didn't know how to put it in the story with out losing focus on Sakura's feelings and two: I didn't know a disease that would work the way I wanted it to work. Thanks for reading the story!


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